The funeral

I'm not looking forward to this.

Ssying goodbye to a man who has been a part of my life for more years than I can count, accepted me as one of his own and trusted me with the love of his 'la reina chula'. A man who always ended our time together with a warm embrace and a 'God bless you, Sarah.'

It's heartbreaking not being able to sit by Liz's side while she says goodbye to her daddy. Another woman will be there, holding her hand and giving her strength. Another woman will wipe away her tears. Another woman will feel her love and gratitude. Another woman will take her position with the family.

But I was there when her mother died and I was there when her father died and the other woman can't say that. Maybe I wasn't the one she called first but I was the one who held her first ... and I'd rather have that.

So tomorrow when my tears fall, I'll be mourning not only the death of a great man but the sorrow of being on the outside looking in ... and hoping some day ... still.