Now it's my head.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Backsplash
The first tile I picked out for my backsplash was PERFECT ... but $42 sq. ft.
I need 30 sq. ft.
So I decided that I needed to be more, ah, prudent (cheap) and pick out a more sensible (cheap) tile.
And I found the PERFECT one ... but $37 sq. ft.
But I might have found a better solution at (drumroll please) $5.90 sq. ft.
Keep your fingers crossed. I'm checking out some squares Saturday.
I need 30 sq. ft.
So I decided that I needed to be more, ah, prudent (cheap) and pick out a more sensible (cheap) tile.
And I found the PERFECT one ... but $37 sq. ft.
But I might have found a better solution at (drumroll please) $5.90 sq. ft.
Keep your fingers crossed. I'm checking out some squares Saturday.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
A new twist
I woke up this morning to a trail of red rose petals leading to a dozen roses on my front porch.
*sigh*
Yes, this will be a happy Valentine's Day.
*sigh*
Yes, this will be a happy Valentine's Day.
Friday, February 8, 2008
45
Today is Liz's birthday. She's 45.
I met her when she was 28 and have loved her everyday since then. I remember how her birthday was such a big deal for me ... us. I'd wake up in the morning and run to the place where I hid her cards (one from me, one from the animals) and present. The cat, dog and me would lay next to her in bed while she opened everything.
On our 10th year of celebrating her day of birth, I drained my savings account and bought her a diamond cross. One year, I wrote her deceased mother a letter thanking her for raising such a tender, wonderful woman. Last year, I took her to a gourmet Mexican restaurant for a six-course meal and fine bottle of wine. Then we went to Bass Hall for a concert.
It was a lovely evening ... the first birthday I spent with her since we broke up four years ago. A night filled with hope and encouragement.
This is the first birthday since I've known her that I will not give her a card.
Or a present.
Or a phone call.
Happy birthday, Liz. You still have so much of my heart, even if you don't know it.
I met her when she was 28 and have loved her everyday since then. I remember how her birthday was such a big deal for me ... us. I'd wake up in the morning and run to the place where I hid her cards (one from me, one from the animals) and present. The cat, dog and me would lay next to her in bed while she opened everything.
On our 10th year of celebrating her day of birth, I drained my savings account and bought her a diamond cross. One year, I wrote her deceased mother a letter thanking her for raising such a tender, wonderful woman. Last year, I took her to a gourmet Mexican restaurant for a six-course meal and fine bottle of wine. Then we went to Bass Hall for a concert.
It was a lovely evening ... the first birthday I spent with her since we broke up four years ago. A night filled with hope and encouragement.
This is the first birthday since I've known her that I will not give her a card.
Or a present.
Or a phone call.
Happy birthday, Liz. You still have so much of my heart, even if you don't know it.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The sadness returns
It's been a hard couple of days.
Liz was the onsite editor at the Fort Worth Stock Show. Three weeks of not seeing her on a daily basis was good for me.
But she came back Monday and we continued the avoidance. Then I had to work late Tuesday night for the primaries and I left for several hours in the afternoon to run errands, take care of Zak, etc. When I returned at 8 p.m., she had left me an email. My hands actually shook as I was opening it.
Her niece Marissa had the baby but it isn't great news. The baby was in fetal distress ... apparently he pooped and peed before they could get him out and there is a big concern that he might be blind. He also had a seizure and they aren't sure what the long term ramifications are to that. She also told me she had lunch with my sister, nephew and his wife and that she missed talking to me but hoped things were going well professionally and personally.
My heart broke and I had to close my office door while I sobbed uncontrollably. I love her so deeply and I love her family just as much. I so much want to be there but know I can't.
I've either been on the verge of tears or just flatout crying since Tuesday night and I don't know when this will stop or what it will take. I just have to remember that it's over and nothing, no amount of tears, begging or wanting is going to change that.
I have good friends.
I have a good woman who loves me.
I have a great house. A challenging job.
And that is going to have to be enough for me.
Liz was the onsite editor at the Fort Worth Stock Show. Three weeks of not seeing her on a daily basis was good for me.
But she came back Monday and we continued the avoidance. Then I had to work late Tuesday night for the primaries and I left for several hours in the afternoon to run errands, take care of Zak, etc. When I returned at 8 p.m., she had left me an email. My hands actually shook as I was opening it.
Her niece Marissa had the baby but it isn't great news. The baby was in fetal distress ... apparently he pooped and peed before they could get him out and there is a big concern that he might be blind. He also had a seizure and they aren't sure what the long term ramifications are to that. She also told me she had lunch with my sister, nephew and his wife and that she missed talking to me but hoped things were going well professionally and personally.
My heart broke and I had to close my office door while I sobbed uncontrollably. I love her so deeply and I love her family just as much. I so much want to be there but know I can't.
I've either been on the verge of tears or just flatout crying since Tuesday night and I don't know when this will stop or what it will take. I just have to remember that it's over and nothing, no amount of tears, begging or wanting is going to change that.
I have good friends.
I have a good woman who loves me.
I have a great house. A challenging job.
And that is going to have to be enough for me.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Propping up the economy
So I spent Saturday at Ikea and Restoration Hardware doing my best to turn this economy around.
Doesn't matter how many lists I draw up or how many times I tell myself that I'm not going to try to do everything at once, I walk into these home places and am transformed into Paris Hilton. Or at least I think I'm carrying her credit card.
Someone needs to draw up a 12-step program for new homeowners that starts with 'thou shall not try to renovate more than one room at a time.' Or 'thou shall shop at Target or Walmart instead of Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware.'
I opened my Mastercard bill Saturday and nearly had a stroke. I've been so smug that I've been out of debt (except my car ... that doesn't count) for four years. But now I've made a sizeable contribution to the $2.5 trillion consumer debt level.
You can thank me later.
Doesn't matter how many lists I draw up or how many times I tell myself that I'm not going to try to do everything at once, I walk into these home places and am transformed into Paris Hilton. Or at least I think I'm carrying her credit card.
Someone needs to draw up a 12-step program for new homeowners that starts with 'thou shall not try to renovate more than one room at a time.' Or 'thou shall shop at Target or Walmart instead of Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware.'
I opened my Mastercard bill Saturday and nearly had a stroke. I've been so smug that I've been out of debt (except my car ... that doesn't count) for four years. But now I've made a sizeable contribution to the $2.5 trillion consumer debt level.
You can thank me later.
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