Saturday, October 13, 2007

Moving on

It comes and goes. I feel the sadness growing inside me with no triggers at all. Then it leaves.

This will be slow. Needs to be. Surprisingly I haven't had those feelings of 'oh my God, what did I do.' I haven't second-guessed my decision.

I'm not settling for anything less than adoration, attention and affection. Not at 52. Shouldn't have at 22, but we get into a pattern of thinking we can live with something less than what we want.

That didn't work for Liz and I. Didn't work for Kate and I. Won't work for (fill in the blank) and I. I can compromise on the number of animals, where we live, how to divide the chores, etc,, etc. but I won't compromise on how I need and want to be loved.

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