Heard this on TV last week and thought I'd share it.
Still have a lump in my throat. Especially the words:
The gate that I shut, last time I got hurt
Seems to have opened itself
Oh the world it's spinning now, it's trying catch me up
Tell me to appreciate, here and now
Monday, April 14, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tell me
That I shouldn't think just because I'm told she's unhappy that it's true.
That it doesn't mean she wants me back.
That I shouldn't go to her blog.
That if I go there, I'll be hurt again.
That if she wants me, she knows where I am.
That she doesn't think of me 'like that' anymore.
That I need to go on.
That I need to quit thinking about her being unhappy.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
How I stop loving her.
That it doesn't mean she wants me back.
That I shouldn't go to her blog.
That if I go there, I'll be hurt again.
That if she wants me, she knows where I am.
That she doesn't think of me 'like that' anymore.
That I need to go on.
That I need to quit thinking about her being unhappy.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
How I stop loving her.
La problema
Dad and I left the ballpark in the top of the 7th inning yesterday.
The Rangers were behind 6-0 and we didn't want to get into bad traffic. The Cowboys stadium is being built nearby and construction has roads blocked, rerouted and generally f*ed up.
That gave me plenty o' time to meet Brenda at Esparza's in Grapevine for some girl talk. And, boy, did we talk.
She and Deb are having problems (what's new) and she doesn't think they can work through it (what's new). Deb is a control freak (what's new) and Brenda is angry about it (what's new). Brenda has a problem with Deb's parenting skills with her 18- and 22-year-old daughers (what's new). Think the last straw with Brenda was when the oldest daughter announced she was pregnant with boyfriend (what's new), left him for girlfriend (what's new), had a miscarraige (what's new), left girlfriend (what's new) and announced she really didn't have a miscarriage after all (that's new).
Can honestly say I question the moral fiber of someone who lies about losing a baby just to get rid of baby daddy.
Anyway, I see nothing but doom and gloom for those two. Brenda's unhappiness is mounting. But I will stand beside her, as usual.
Oh, and she told me Liz is very unhappy, which I know is burying the lede here. I got a little wrapped up in that news until I realized her unhappiness doesn't mean she wants me back. Just means ... well, I don't know but I'm not going down that road.
OK, maybe a little down the road but not around the corner.
The Rangers were behind 6-0 and we didn't want to get into bad traffic. The Cowboys stadium is being built nearby and construction has roads blocked, rerouted and generally f*ed up.
That gave me plenty o' time to meet Brenda at Esparza's in Grapevine for some girl talk. And, boy, did we talk.
She and Deb are having problems (what's new) and she doesn't think they can work through it (what's new). Deb is a control freak (what's new) and Brenda is angry about it (what's new). Brenda has a problem with Deb's parenting skills with her 18- and 22-year-old daughers (what's new). Think the last straw with Brenda was when the oldest daughter announced she was pregnant with boyfriend (what's new), left him for girlfriend (what's new), had a miscarraige (what's new), left girlfriend (what's new) and announced she really didn't have a miscarriage after all (that's new).
Can honestly say I question the moral fiber of someone who lies about losing a baby just to get rid of baby daddy.
Anyway, I see nothing but doom and gloom for those two. Brenda's unhappiness is mounting. But I will stand beside her, as usual.
Oh, and she told me Liz is very unhappy, which I know is burying the lede here. I got a little wrapped up in that news until I realized her unhappiness doesn't mean she wants me back. Just means ... well, I don't know but I'm not going down that road.
OK, maybe a little down the road but not around the corner.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Dad and I
Today's the Rangers' home opener (yay!!!) against the Baltimore Orioles (boo!!!).
My dad and I started going to home openers way before the new ballpark was built in 1994. Then my brother wanted to go. Then my sister. And my nephews. For three years, we rented a suite but the past few years the team priced us out.
My brother got us tickets from a ticket broker (re: scalper) last year but. they. sucked. It was 55 degrees with a chilly north wind. Our seats were at the back of the outfield and a cold wind beat us up all day.
So this year I decided to get back to basics and take my dad. Just us.
For his 86th birthday in March, I bought tickets in the section and row that for many years we had season tickets. An easy walk from the parking lot. Down one row.
Every year I wonder if this will be the last year my dad will be steady and healthy enough to go to the home opener. I can't imagine doing this without him. Can't imagine not seeing the tears in his eyes when the B-1 bombers fly over the stadium after we sing the national anthem. (I can, however, imagine not cringing when he starts talking loudly about how much he despises George Bush! Yikes.)
But today is the day I'll add yet another beautiful memory of my dad. And I won't think about next year.
My dad and I started going to home openers way before the new ballpark was built in 1994. Then my brother wanted to go. Then my sister. And my nephews. For three years, we rented a suite but the past few years the team priced us out.
My brother got us tickets from a ticket broker (re: scalper) last year but. they. sucked. It was 55 degrees with a chilly north wind. Our seats were at the back of the outfield and a cold wind beat us up all day.
So this year I decided to get back to basics and take my dad. Just us.
For his 86th birthday in March, I bought tickets in the section and row that for many years we had season tickets. An easy walk from the parking lot. Down one row.
Every year I wonder if this will be the last year my dad will be steady and healthy enough to go to the home opener. I can't imagine doing this without him. Can't imagine not seeing the tears in his eyes when the B-1 bombers fly over the stadium after we sing the national anthem. (I can, however, imagine not cringing when he starts talking loudly about how much he despises George Bush! Yikes.)
But today is the day I'll add yet another beautiful memory of my dad. And I won't think about next year.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Should it really be this hard?
Caren and I have had a less than great two days.
We had a big argument at the boxing match we went to see Thursday night. Guess what about? Liz.
She said she knows when I'm thinking about her.
I pull away.
I'm not as loving.
I told her we talked about this before we started dating. That it was going to take some time to get past my many years with Liz. I told her a 13+ year relationship isn't comparable to a 4-year relationship (like she had) and that it takes time to get over.
She said she's tired of living in her shadow.
We didn't stay together Thursday night. Both of us too mad to want to cozy up to one another. But it started again Friday night.
Once more she started in on 'no one will ever live up to Liz' standards' and 'you don't love me like I love you.' So I snapped.
I told her NEVER to talk to me about Liz. That I was trying harder than I've ever tried to get past this. That no matter how hard she tries, she'll never understand what it takes to get over someone who has been such a big part of your life for such a long time. I told her I liked where we are and if she kept pushing me to feel something I don't feel right now or to 'get over it', she's not going to like the result.
And I meant it. Caren has a long way to go before she's in any position to win me completely over.
She has to finish school
She has to hold a job.
She has to financially contribute to this relationship.
Maybe this is what happens when you're involved with a much younger person.
Maybe this is what happens when you're wanting to give someone something that you've already given another.
We won't see each other until Thursday night or Friday. And I looking forward to the peace.
Relationships. I just don't remember it being this hard.
We had a big argument at the boxing match we went to see Thursday night. Guess what about? Liz.
She said she knows when I'm thinking about her.
I pull away.
I'm not as loving.
I told her we talked about this before we started dating. That it was going to take some time to get past my many years with Liz. I told her a 13+ year relationship isn't comparable to a 4-year relationship (like she had) and that it takes time to get over.
She said she's tired of living in her shadow.
We didn't stay together Thursday night. Both of us too mad to want to cozy up to one another. But it started again Friday night.
Once more she started in on 'no one will ever live up to Liz' standards' and 'you don't love me like I love you.' So I snapped.
I told her NEVER to talk to me about Liz. That I was trying harder than I've ever tried to get past this. That no matter how hard she tries, she'll never understand what it takes to get over someone who has been such a big part of your life for such a long time. I told her I liked where we are and if she kept pushing me to feel something I don't feel right now or to 'get over it', she's not going to like the result.
And I meant it. Caren has a long way to go before she's in any position to win me completely over.
She has to finish school
She has to hold a job.
She has to financially contribute to this relationship.
Maybe this is what happens when you're involved with a much younger person.
Maybe this is what happens when you're wanting to give someone something that you've already given another.
We won't see each other until Thursday night or Friday. And I looking forward to the peace.
Relationships. I just don't remember it being this hard.
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