5 years and waiting

They broke up about the same time Liz and I did.

She told him she couldn't go through with it about a week before the wedding.

It was painful watching him deal (and not deal) with it in front of friends and coworkers ... it was hard to see him in my office with tears in his eyes trying to wrap his head around it.

He went to counseling and it seemed to help. He eventually started dating again and learned to let her back into his life from time-to-time. We shared our frustrations over countless numbers of beers and closed-door counseling sessions in my office.

She was doing what Liz was doing to me. Come here, go away, come here, go away. We shared ways to cope with the heartache, bragged about who we were dating, sure that we both had moved past the breakup.

And then we reached this conclusion at about the same time ... or least vocalized it at the same time: we would always be in love with our exes.

He gave me a lot of support when Liz and I started dating again. He told me that they were starting to date again, too. And he asked me to keep it to myself. And I did.

Liz and I didn't make it but they continued, taking small steps forward and sometimes one or two back. But they continued. And continued.

He pulled me into his office last week and, with a smile and tears glistening in his eyes (and mine), told me they were getting married in the fall. Probably not a big wedding and maybe just the two of them.

Dreams do come true.

How hot is it?

This is when I hate this state.

It's so hot, I have to run at 7 a.m. and even then it takes 30 minutes to stop sweating once I finish.
It's so hot, my dog is going through 2 bowls of water a day ... and he's an inside dog.
It's so hot, my front yard is hard and crunchy and I don't care because it's too hot to stand out there and water.
It's so hot, when I come in the house after work I'm freezing and the temperature is 82 in the house.
It's so hot, I sleep under a ceiling fan, thermostat on 76 and a box fan.

I'd trade you July and August in Texas for three months in Rochester winter.

Catch up, not ketchup

Has it really been since April? What a slacker.

OK, take a deep breath, sit down, shut up and hold on. I'm going to give you the short version.

times are very bad in newspaperland and the mothership laid off one of my best friends at the s-t. caren and i went to big bend for a hiking breastfest3 and i dangled my size 6.5's at 7500 feet over the south texas desert. back to work and for the second quarter, we lay off (volunteer and otherwise) many more. lost another one of my best friends. liz and i are talking, hell, even drinking together every now and then. nothing to it don't go there. but we admitted that we aren't complete without one another. she's off in facebook land doing her thing and i'm nesting in my house, thinking of ways i can survive early retirement. one word: mexico. my mom had a slight stroke and i've been helping dad and my siblings care for her. i cook on sundays and take food over. she's doing great and we convinced dad that he needs to continue his volunteer work at the hospital. my car is paid off and first paycheck went to .... drumroll, please, a new bedroom set. zak attacked a cat. cost me 1100. shit. caren and i are muddling through. i like my life. she likes hers. she bought me sheets today. in some lesbian relationships that's akin to a proposal. but not this one. her book convention is at the end of the month in phoenix and she bought me a ticket. her book, let it shine, is coming out in october, I think. then we're going to a gay, end of summer fete in new orleans at the end of august. southern decadence.

i guess that a wrap ... exhale.

CAUTION: Sappy love song

Heard this on TV last week and thought I'd share it.
Still have a lump in my throat. Especially the words:

The gate that I shut, last time I got hurt
Seems to have opened itself
Oh the world it's spinning now, it's trying catch me up
Tell me to appreciate, here and now

I will

get past this.

Tell me

That I shouldn't think just because I'm told she's unhappy that it's true.
That it doesn't mean she wants me back.
That I shouldn't go to her blog.
That if I go there, I'll be hurt again.
That if she wants me, she knows where I am.
That she doesn't think of me 'like that' anymore.
That I need to go on.
That I need to quit thinking about her being unhappy.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
That it's not about me.
How I stop loving her.

La problema

Dad and I left the ballpark in the top of the 7th inning yesterday.

The Rangers were behind 6-0 and we didn't want to get into bad traffic. The Cowboys stadium is being built nearby and construction has roads blocked, rerouted and generally f*ed up.

That gave me plenty o' time to meet Brenda at Esparza's in Grapevine for some girl talk. And, boy, did we talk.

She and Deb are having problems (what's new) and she doesn't think they can work through it (what's new). Deb is a control freak (what's new) and Brenda is angry about it (what's new). Brenda has a problem with Deb's parenting skills with her 18- and 22-year-old daughers (what's new). Think the last straw with Brenda was when the oldest daughter announced she was pregnant with boyfriend (what's new), left him for girlfriend (what's new), had a miscarraige (what's new), left girlfriend (what's new) and announced she really didn't have a miscarriage after all (that's new).

Can honestly say I question the moral fiber of someone who lies about losing a baby just to get rid of baby daddy.

Anyway, I see nothing but doom and gloom for those two. Brenda's unhappiness is mounting. But I will stand beside her, as usual.

Oh, and she told me Liz is very unhappy, which I know is burying the lede here. I got a little wrapped up in that news until I realized her unhappiness doesn't mean she wants me back. Just means ... well, I don't know but I'm not going down that road.

OK, maybe a little down the road but not around the corner.