Caren is moving back in with her parents until she gets out of school. She has a journalism degree but is getting another one in international business.
And the job she's applying for, and probably will get, is M-Th, 2-10p.m.
I support what she's doing. She isn't making any money now, her dad is paying her expenses and her rent is $500/mo. If I was her dad, I'd suggest she move back home, too.
What does this mean for us?
Not a lot of good.
Not a lot of bad.
Just a bunch of unknowns.
We won't be seeing as much of each other. We decided that she'd stay with me Friday-Sunday. She won't be living around the corner ... she's moving about 30 minutes away. And working in Dallas, which is 40 minutes away.
Not exactly 'meet me for a beer after work' neighborhood.
This will be challenging for us. And I can't say that I'm positive that it will turn out OK.
I love Caren. She loves me. But I really wish I was with someone who already was knee-deep in their career, worked the same hours as me and had nearly the same earning power as I do. I want a relationship that is moving toward cohabitating. Caren and I won't live together until she gets out of school and starts to make money. That's over a year from now.
I don't know if I can wait that long.
2 comments:
what a continuing stream of transitions for you...
seems like you are really trying to keep the focus on the now.. which is the only way to stay sane.
it's got to be hard to let go of a relationship that was so much a part of you...
where does that part of you go?
there is so little in life that
turns out as we imagined, huh?
peace and joy can sneak in when we let go of outcomes..but that's so damn hard to do.
you are a woman of heart and humor..
and as always..
i'm pullin' for you.
happy easter, if you're the easter
celebrating sort.
i'm kind of into the candy and the dyed eggs and ham dinner with some famliy and pals more than anything else. i decided not to hide the baskets or eggs this year. think my guys get that there is no bunny..so i'm going straight up with the "here's your baskets dudes..enjoy".
weelo
Don't know where that part of you goes when you lose something so damn important.
But I get it now. I get that you can't fulfill what is lost by replacing it with another person.
The heart knows.
Yes. I believe the answer is in letting go of outcomes and expectations. And just letting it happen.
But it is so very hard all of the time.
Happy Easter to you, dear friend. No, not really into the eggs, baskets and what-nots. Hate peeps, too. But it is a wonderful family day, yes.
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