This isn't right

Liz came into my office today to tell me about her niece who is barely six months pregnant and in labor. The baby's heart is strong but his lungs are not. It broke my heart. I've know Marissa since she was 8 or 9 and I love her like my own.

It was all I could do not to ask Liz to hold me. I'm moving forward, I think, but it feels so unnatural to me. I don't know why I still think of her as my wife, but I do.

I'm dating a woman who is crazy about me.
I have a house that takes up a great deal of my time.
I have a new job that is going to be a big challenge.
But all I can see is Liz and all I can feel is empty and all I can dream of is us.

This is so fucking unfair. Where does this shit come from?

For Wendy

Thank you. Thank you very much.



*belch*

Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.

Lady Luck

They say luck comes in threes. Well, maybe they don't say it, but I do.

Luck No. 1: Underbid $30K in the hottest residential area in FW and got the house.
Luck No. 2: Bossman comes in Tuesday, practically tackles me at the elevator and tells me, after 21 years at the newspaper, he's leaving for a teaching position at Texas Christian U. An hour later, his boss pulled me into her office and offered me the job. I am now Assistant Managing Editor for Design and Graphics, with a slight bump in pay.
Luck No. 3: I'm spending Thanksgiving in Las Vegas. Sure could use a nice, big run at blackjack. Could it be???

And now for some good news

So I'm now a homeowner. Or should I say, a mortgage holder.

It's a 1929 charmer. 2 bedrooms, 1 and a half baths. Nice front porch, two-tiered deck in the back. Garage that could easily be turned into a studio (but not anytime soon).

First thing is to make some repairs. Nothing major. The house has been rented for a couple of years and it hasn't been kept up with.

I'm taking the first couple of weeks off in December to move. Between closing (Nov. 20 or 27) and move in, I'm repainting the inside.

The kitchen will be redone slightly. Replacing the gray laminate countertops with black granite. Replacing the white appliaces with staineless steel. Taking out the ceramic tile, laying concrete and polishing a high glass black acid wash.

This is a huge first step to moving on.
Maybe this will be the place I find love again.
Maybe this will be the place where I finally learn that I can live happily without Liz.