Friday, November 30, 2007

This isn't right

Liz came into my office today to tell me about her niece who is barely six months pregnant and in labor. The baby's heart is strong but his lungs are not. It broke my heart. I've know Marissa since she was 8 or 9 and I love her like my own.

It was all I could do not to ask Liz to hold me. I'm moving forward, I think, but it feels so unnatural to me. I don't know why I still think of her as my wife, but I do.

I'm dating a woman who is crazy about me.
I have a house that takes up a great deal of my time.
I have a new job that is going to be a big challenge.
But all I can see is Liz and all I can feel is empty and all I can dream of is us.

This is so fucking unfair. Where does this shit come from?

1 comment:

Mail Girl said...

i have no words.
the connection to liz
is deep and long
no doubt
it's real
and won't go away
ever.
i love that you don't try to tell yourself otherwise
sending love,
w