On Dec. 7, 1990, I asked Liz to marry me.
Life is funny, isn't it?
It really is over. I think it's finally sinking in and it's so terribly sad right now. I used to look for any shred of hope but deep in my heart, I know there is none. No one is encouraging me in the least. In fact, I'm painfully aware of the hopelessness in my friend's voices.
She doesn't love me 'like that' anymore. For the first time in 17 years.
And today, Dec. 7, 2007, Caren turned 28.
Life is funny, isn't it?
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2 comments:
i read something in a novel recently that reminded me of this entry of yours.
the book is called The History of Love.
here's the excerpt:
"If you remember the first time you saw Alma, you also remember the last. She was shaking her head. Or disappearing across a field. Or through a window. Come back Alma! you shouted. Come back! Come back!
But she didn't.
And though you were grown up by then, you felt as lost as a child. And though your pride was broken, you felt as vast as your love for her. She was gone, and all that was left was the space where you'd grown around her. like a tree that grows around a fence.
For a long time, it remained hollow. Years, maybe. And when at last it was filled again, you knew that the new love you felt for a woman would have been impossible without Alma.
If it weren't for her, there would never have been an empty space, or the need to fill it."
peaace,
weelo
Wow. I've never looked at it this way. But you're right. So very right.
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