She's gone

This was too much for her. My shit usually is when I bring someone else onboard.

Caren is in love with me but this indecision and uncertainty is too much for her. Can't stand not being with me ... can't handle knowing I'm with someone else ... can't deal with the image of me touching another woman.

Yesterday was very hard. I'm afraid I'm losing her. She said she won't wait ... can't wait. And we decided not to communicate for awhile.

Too much sadness when we do.

I'm in love with her. Don't know where to turn. Don't know what to do.

I can only take deep breaths and believe I'm doing the right thing. But the right thing feels like shit. And I'm wondering if it really is the right thing. Why can't I just grab my ovaries and jump? What the hell is wrong with me?

I miss her so much.